Funny Quotes Greetings and Facebook Status

Laughter is one of the most significant and needed ingredients of a happy life. Sometimes we face problems; it’s a part of life. We should always be happy, because laughter always keeps us fit. Through funny quotes we can live happy and we can change others mood and make them happy. This is the right place for you if you are finding funny statuses. Read below our best collection of  funny messages. Funny facebook status quotes are everywhere but its difficult to get the top funny tumblr quotes. So we have done all efforts for you to collect cute funny sms.Watch Full Movie Online Streaming Online and Download


  • Apple president says he is gay & Samsung president says he is more gay and waterproof J
  • When life gives you just lemons just add vodka.
  • They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
  • The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
  • Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it!
  • You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
  • I saw dad with mom last night and I think he was stealing my milk.
  • You know what would look really good on you? Its me…
  • I just Googled “what do women REALLY want?” My computer crashed.
  • Don’t follow my footsteps. I run into walls.
  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.

funny funny quotes

  • The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
  •  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  • Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s just that yours is stupid.
  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  • You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you throw them out of…
  • Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
  • Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.
  • Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
  • There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
  • A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
  • There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..
  • Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
  • Kids in the backseat cause accidents…..accidents in the backseat cause kids.

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  • You tell me not to lie but if I walked around telling the truth all the time, a lot of people’s feelings would be hurt.
  • Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.
  • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
  • When women go wrong, men go right after them.
  • If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

funny sayings quotes

  • A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
  • I like my coffee, like i like my men, ground up and in the freezer.
  • What do you call a girl with no tits? Well you don’t call her!
  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
  • A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
  • A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
  • A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
  • A nickel ain’t worth cheap jerseys a dime anymore.

quotes that are funny

  • A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
  • Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
  • You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
  • Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
  • You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
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They will have to remake this roster completely. There aren’t many real assets on the offensive side of the ball. Decker was a high priced free agent. He played well but not up to his contract. A lot of that had to do with the poor quarterback play. The Jets went out and acquired wide receiver Brandon Marshall. Brissett began the season as the third string quarterback behind Tom cheap football jerseys Brady, the franchise cornerstone who is serving a four game suspension for his role in ”Deflategate,” and Jimmy Garoppolo inactive after injuring his right shoulder last week against Miami. Brissett’s start on Thursday was the first time that New England had started a rookie quarterback since Drew Bledsoe in 1993.Earhart was already famous for being the first woman to be flown across the Atlantic. She didn’t actually do any flying, her job was to keep the flight log. Upon returning to America she became an instant celebrity, going on lecture tours and receiving various product endorsements, including Lucky Strike cigarettes. “After a fake oakleys long day of sitting in a plane, a woman needs to cool down with that fine flavor she knows and loves.””I think the science is fine, they definitely can kill mosquitoes, but the GMO issue still sticks as something of a thorny issue for the general public,” said Phil Lounibos, who studies mosquito control at the Florida Medical Entomology Laboratory. “It’s not even so much about the science you can’t go ahead with something like this if public opinion is negative.”People with low PFC activity cannot focus long enough on one Cheap NFL Jerseys China thing to get it done, and typically have a closet full of self help tapes, books, and CD’S that they never even came close to finishing because they found something else that was more “interesting”. Basically these people need to activate their PFC, so they will be unconsciously searching for things that will do this. I recently went with a friend in Cancun to a place to watch the NFL football playoff games. This place that he chose had about 15 big screen TV’s and a dozen lazy boy chairs in front. So at one time, you could watch all 15 TV’s. I thought to myself “This is an ADD person’s PARADISE!”. cheap football jerseys They could switch back and forth cheap oakleys sunglasses between the most exciting games and give their PFC the excitement it needed. Also children that love video games do this for the same cheap jerseys wholesale reason. Their brain is asking for this. Or children that ask you to tell them a scary story the same thing.The antithesis of the man mountains they cheer on from the side lines, cheerleaders are the apple pie served up alongside the rib eye steak of the NFL.”It’s entertainment, it’s Hollywood, its spectacle,” Joanne Gerstner, a past president of the Association for Women in Sports Media, told CNN.The stop start nature of American Football there are many breaks in play with games lasting up to three hours provides the opportunity for these pompom wielding women to help keep fans’ eyes fixed on the field.”I think it’s everyone’s dream, if you’re a dancer, to pursue that passion at a professional level,” Missy Mooty, a 26 year old member of the Minnesota Vikings cheerleading squad, or MVC, told CNN ahead of a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Wembley in October.”This is the time of my life that it worked out, it happened to be a dream that came true so it was a great next step in my dance career.”Blog: Redskins racist or sporting exception?Mooty and fellow MVC member Kaylee Munson are paid by the Vikings, but not enough to make a living, meaning cheerleading is combined with a career, full time studies or balanced with family responsibilities.”We like to say it’s a part time job, full time commitment,” said Munson, who works as a nurse in schools, teaching kids about healthy living.Cheerleading first came to the NFL in 1954, when they were premiered by the Baltimore Colts as part of the team’s marching band.The spectacle snowballed replica oakleys and now most self respecting NFL franchises wouldn’t be seen dead without cheerleaders 26 of the 32 current NFL franchises have squads.Munson and Mooty have been dancing all their lives, taking the well trodden path into the NFL through high school and college dancing or by competing with a studio.”I had always danced growing up, so I thought maybe I would try out for the Vikings to expand on my dance career,” said Munson.
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